Moving on.

I hate bad days... and yesterday was a bad day. Late last night we realized that our 3rd attempt at IUI has failed. I went for a 7 mile run and thought long and hard about what we were going to do. I just wanted to run forever so that my emotions all became a blurr. I wanted to run until my knees started to shake and my muscles burned. I wanted to run away from it all and move on. While running I came to some conclusion in my head that I needed a break from all of the hormones, disappointment, anger and frustration. I need a very LONG break, one that I might not return from because I finally came to terms with the idea that we might only have one baby. And that's okay because he's the sweetest little boy in the entire world who's eyes sparkle like the twinkling stars in the sky. He's my best buddy and I love him from the depths of my beating heart. He makes me smile and that's all that matters.

If it's just the 3 of us for the rest of forever, then I will be happy and I will be grateful for my 2 handsome boys. I can feel myself moving on and letting go of the somewhat control I thought I had throughout this whole process. (This is where everyone says, "You wait and see... you'll get pregnant now that you aren't stressing about it." So let's just go ahead and skip those comments mkay? Thanks.) Now I look forward to a nice big house, Hendrix riding in the back seat of my cute little Audi, lot's of Disney Land trips and the best eduation for our son. Sounds pretty awesome right? "Table for THREE!" Yes please!