It's hot outside!!!

Feelin me some L.O.V.E

Wow, I couldn't wait to post these pictures because I feel way too lucky to have such an amazing family. Seriously, I was completely overwhelmed yesterday when beautiful woman after beautiful woman showed up at my door with gifts of love and hope. I keep saying that no one will ever understand how much this means to me and Jordan, and I truly mean it. I was feeling pretty down Friday night and totally dreading the next day but it ended up being one of the best days a girl could ask when going through something like this. Thank you again for all of the sweet messages, gifts and love.

This basket of goodies is from cute Brookie Wookie. She showed up at my door around 11 am with the cutest little picnic bag I have ever seen, filled with the most random stuff ever. LOL! This is what it contained: Twizzlers, Otter Pops, stuff for S'mores, gum, chalk, a beach ball, a bubble blowing gun, nail polish, Bert's Bee's chapstick, caramels, peaches, strawberries, Nutella and even batteries for the bubble gun. There was something for everyone and it brought a huge smile to my face. Thank you Brookie!

I was a bit confused when I saw a random old lady with an even older lady in the front seat of the car, pull into my drive way around 2 pm. She knocked on my door and handed me the most beautiful and delicious smelling flowers I have ever been given. They were from my cute Meagan in Texas. Oh my goodnes, my house smells so good right now, I wish you could smell it Meagan! I know you feel so helpless in Texas and wish you could be here for all of us but the many hours we have spent on the phone and the continous words of love are more then enough for me. Thank you so very much.

When I didn't think that my day could get any better, my 2 fabulous sisters showed up with the best candy bar poster I have ever seen. I started crying when they read it to me, I have never been given a candy bar poster! I took some pictures a.s.a.p and immedietly opened the TWIX because I've been craving one for the last 5 days... ask Annie. We all look a little homeless but honestly, that's how we look 90% of the time and still love each other at the end of the day. You guys will never know how much you mean to me! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Later that night I got a phone call from my Momma telling me that she and my Dad had stopped by and left a little something on our porch because we weren't home. I was so sad that we missed them! When I opened the little brown box, I started to cry. My Mom knows how much I love angels and has given me 4 of them now. I love every single one of them and they all mean something different to me. I remember when and why she gave each of them to me and I hold them dear to my heart. This one is called "Sunshine" which is exactly what I needed that day. What an amazing gift. Thank you Mom, I love you!

(Side note: When I showed Hendrix the angel, he took it in his hands and stared at it for a long time before he pointed to the sunflowers and said, "Oh! Those are grapes and quesadillas!" We laughed sooo hard!)

AND....

I don't have a picture of this one but I can't wait one more second for tomorrow to come so that I can enjoy it! My sweet mother in law, Judy, is watching Hendrix tomorrow and sending me on a shopping spree!!!! She stopped by yestserday and told me that she wasn't sure what to do for me during this hard time but knows that shopping ALWAYS puts me in a good mood. She knows me oh so well. Thank you SO SO SO very much Judy. You know I'm smiling right now just thinking about it! You're the best mother in law a girl could ever ask for and I love you so much.

LUCKY, RIGHT???

True heartache.

A lot of people have been wondering how are IUI process has turned out this month, so instead of calling you all one by one and feeling my heart break over and over again, I thought it would be best to just post it on here. Our IUI was actually successful. We found out a few days ago that we were finally pregnant after trying for 21 months but my HCG levels were pretty low so we weren't out of the woods yet. We didn't want everyone to get excited for us and then have to call them back with disappointing news. This was the best thing we could have done because we DID get that disappointing news today. They tested my HCG levels again to see if they were going up (like a normal pregnancy should) but they ended up going down. The nurse sadly informed me that we were going to have ANOTHER miscarriage. Yep, miscarriage #3. Good thing my best friend was in the car with me when I found out because I completely lost it and was lucky to have her there with me. Thank you Meghan.

So a new journey begins for us. I guess we'll now be testing to see why I can't carry a pregnancy instead of why we can't get pregnant. Neat. Sometimes I just feel like it would be easier to give up. I don't know if my heart could handle a 4th miscarriage and I don't know if it's worth it to try again and find out. I think about all of the amazing vacations we could go on with Hendrix and the incredible colleges we could afford to send him to if he ended up being our only child. I think about how awesome my body would feel with out all of the hormones in it and the satisfaction of knowing that I will never see another negative pregnancy test EVER again. I could focus my attention more on living life and enjoying it instead of worrying about what day of my cycle it is, how many months have passed by and making sure I don't drink too much diet coke. That route seems so easy and wonderful but I watch my baby getting bigger every day see him develop into a little person and my heart aches when I think that I might not be able to experience another child growing up ever again. I'm torn.

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm handling it so well and that I have such a good attitude but deep down inside, every inch of my body hurts. I feel broken. I feel like my heart can only take so many beatings before it gives up. I feel my faith and testimony slipping away. My world seems upside down. But I remember that I need to be strong for my Hendrix. I HAVE to pick myself up and move forward somehow because he doesn't need to see me hurting he doesn't need to be affected by this. All he needs is to be loved. And that's when I snap back to reality and try to find the tiniest positive thing that can come from this situation. I realize now that Hendrix is a miracle and I cannot take one day for granted with him. He is the best gift I have ever been given and I have to cherish that gift and be thankful for it everyday. And I will, no matter what life brings our way.

Craft Night!

Meghan and her Mom & Grandma have a craft night once a month where they paint and put together really cute wood crafts for their front doors or around the house. Meghan keeps telling me to come and I'm super glad I did because we made the cutest craft! I love how it turned out despite the VERY tedious act of painting white stripes in between the red stripes (don't look too closely, lol). I don't have any 4th/24th of July decorations, so this was perfect for my front door. Thanks Meg! I can't wait to come next month!

I LOVE how the stars turned out!

Family pictures 2011 (sneak peak)

This is the place, Heritage Park

Our infertility clinic had a summer party at This Is The Place, Heritage Park over the weekend. It was perfect weather and Hendrix LOVED being out in the open, exploring and running around is right up his ally. We had a yummy BBQ lunch, rode the "BIG" train around the park, saw lot's of animals and even rode the ponies. I love our little family, we have so much fun together!

 Oh my heart! I LOVE these boys so ridiculously much!

 This is Hendrix balancing 2 rocks on top of each other. He was so focused. Look at his right arm holding the other arm steady. We were laughing so hard!

 Such a big boy! I can't believe he can ride the pony by himself.

Family Park Day

This last weekend the Morales clan was up here hangin out for a bit. We decided to go to this cool park by Wendy's house and let the kids run around for awhile. I was a VERY bad photographer and didn't capture 1/2 of the people there but I somehow managed to get quite a few pictures of Kenli girl, lol. Here are the pictures I have, mostly because Annie took them. (Not pictured: Annie, Cody, Julie and Bentley)

Love these girlies!

This is what 90% of the pictures I take with Jordan end up looking like.

No body knows....

Marcus has double jointed fingers like his Mommy and points to things like this. lol. It's SO cute!

Momma and her cute hat.

Cool "Tio"

LOVE him!